Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Answering the Questions Posed by the "Childfree Tag"

I saw a Youtube video on the Childfree Tag, so I thought I'd give it a go!

Here's the questions:

1. Do you dislike children?
Not all kids – just the loud ones.

2. Why did you opt out of parenthood?
I think pregnancy and childbirth are really, really gross.

3. Do you think your childhood experiences and/or your parents actions influenced your decision?
Absolutely – but it’s not that way for many childfree. I’m in the minority, or so it seems from my interactions with childfree people online and in real life.

4. What is the most common reaction/comment you get when people find out you're Child-Free?
I usually get a hurrah for me knowing enough about myself not to, then a “They aren’t for everyone!” Then again, I live in the Pacific Northwest which is a bit more liberal. Some people really get hassled for not having kids.

5. Do you have any Child-free friends or relatives?
Most of my friends are women whose children are grown and gone.  I have no “real-life” childfree friends, but plenty of online ones that I can gripe to in private.

6. Do you think people are aware that parenthood is a choice?
The ranks of the childfree have been growing, so I’ll answer yes to that.

7. How do you feel/react when your loved ones announce they're expecting? 
Since I live 1,300 miles away from my closest relatives, I congratulate them and move on.

8. What is the most ridiculous criticism of your life choice you've ever received?
“Why did you get married if you’re not having kids?” NO JOKE.

9. Are you worried you might one day regret your decision?
I look at it this way – I might regret not ordering the chicken fried steak, but I enjoyed the hamburger nonetheless. Short answer: No.

10. (For women) Don't you want to experience being pregnant?
Absolutely not. I find pregnancy creepy – it makes me think of the chestbursters from Alien.

11. Is your current partner Childfree as well?

12. Is it possible to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship without children?
Absolutely. In fact, I’m sure that if we had kids, we’d be divorced by now. We can each do our own thing and not have to worry about pawning the kids off on each other – or spending money on a babysitter, diapers, toys, etc etc.

13. Define parenthood in one word

14. Do you think you would be a good parent? Why/Why Not?
No. I was raised by an authoritarian abusive alcoholic mother – and when you are raised with that, you tend to absorb some of it. I had to learn healthy emotion regulation through Dialectical Behavior Therapy – and I barely know how to do it myself. I’m nowhere near equipped to teach a kid how to regulate their emotions. Also: spanking. I don’t think I could help myself, and with my temper, things could easily get out of hand. No thanks! I’m doing the WORLD a favor – trust me!

15. Do you have pets? Do you think you transfer the nurturing and love intended for a child onto your pet(s)? 
Yes, I have one dog. Since I decided that I wasn’t having kids a long time ago, that love was never “intended” for kids in the first place.
I also have several houseplants.

16. Which Child-free stereotype do you not fit?
I’m very much NOT a liberal.  This difference became apparent almost immediately upon interacting with other Childfree people online – most childfree, it seems, are Liberal .
Libertarian Porcupine - Don't Tread on Anyone!

17. Is it hard to find a Child-free partner?
For some people it can be. I lucked out – I met my husband when both of us were in the Marine Corps.

18. Which label do you prefer? Child-Free or Childless?
Childfree. I’m not “less” of anything.

19. Do you actively encourage the people around you to think about their reproductive 
Their reproductive choices are none of my business. If they ask my opinion, I’ll give it, but reproductive choice is a pretty personal/sensitive issue.

20. Are you worried about who will take care of you when you're old? 
No – we’re saving and investing wisely so that we can afford a decent standard of care in our old age.No need to guilt trip a kid into caring for us!

21. What is the best part about being Child-Free?
I get to do what I want, when I want – and it doesn’t affect a little human.

Well, that and the peace and quiet. I wouldn’t trade that for the world!

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